Why More Women Are Divorcing at 50 — And Why It’s Not Just the Hormones
Despite falling divorce rates overall, women aged 45–55 feel like their relationships aren’t working any more, are walking away from their marriages in record numbers. Is midlife to blame — or is it something deeper?
The Midlife Divorce Spike: What the Data Really Shows
According to the latest ONS (Office for National Statistics) report, UK divorce rates are the lowest they’ve been in over 50 years — except for women aged 45 to 55. That age group is bucking the trend, choosing to leave long-term marriages more than any other.
The obvious assumption? It must be menopause. Midlife. Hormones gone rogue. But that’s too simplistic — and too convenient.
The American Psychological Association defines midlife as starting around age 35. That’s a full decade before most marriages begin to unravel. It’s also the age when women are classified as geriatric mothers if they have children. (Charming, right?)
I gave birth naturally at 37 after IVF. Four hours, no drama. Back in my jeans four weeks later. But hey, let’s not let lived experience interfere with outdated medical labels.
Menopause, Mental Load, and the Myth of the Midlife Crisis
Let’s talk hormones. The British Menopause Society reports that 75% of women experience menopause symptoms disruptive enough to affect their work or relationships. For 25% of women, these symptoms are severe enough to derail daily life entirely.
I was one of them — thrown into early menopause at 42 following cancer treatment. The symptoms were relentless: hot flushes, anxiety, rage, exhaustion. But you know what didn’t happen? My marriage didn’t fall apart. My business didn’t collapse.
I figured it out — eventually — but it took everything I had.
This is why I reject the “midlife crisis” narrative. In fact, Levenson’s 2014 study debunked the idea altogether. The breakdown we’re witnessing isn’t hormonal chaos — it’s women waking up.
What’s Really Behind the Relationship Breakdowns at Midlife?
By age 51 — the average age of menopause — many women have spent decades in careers, caregiving roles, and co-dependent emotional ecosystems.
And suddenly, we stop being able to pretend.
We realise we’re exhausted from supporting systems that never supported us back — whether that’s a marriage, a job, or a version of ourselves that’s been performing someone else’s expectations.
And let’s not forget: your career and your personal life are not separate. If your home life is burning down, your leadership will feel it. If your business is thriving but your relationships are toxic, your nervous system will eventually tap out.
Midlife Reinvention Is the Real Story — Not Decline
I’ve lived this. Divorce, early menopause, motherhood at 37, launching a business at 42, cancer. My “midlife” was meant to be the beginning of the end. Instead, it became the beginning of me.
When society started handing me my invisibility cloak — along with ‘age-appropriate’ skincare and cotton tunics — I laughed and bought Skims and Chanel. Because I’ve survived hard things. I’ve created meaningful things.
And I am not done.
The value I bring now? It’s the best it’s ever been.
So Where Does This Leave Us?
Right here:
✨ You can take stock of your life at midlife.
✨ You can choose reinvention, not resignation.
✨ You can decide what success looks like now — and build from that clarity.
You do not need to burn it all down.
But you do need to ask who’s still coming with you.
If someone doesn’t like your choices, your ambition, your evolution — let them opt out. The only person who should never be disappointed in your life… is you.
“Be your valuable self first — and watch how your identity transforms the actions you take.”
— Brook Castillo
The Human Design Perspective
In Human Design, we talk about decision-making through inner authority — that deep body-led knowing. Midlife is often the first time we stop overriding that inner voice.
What if menopause isn’t a breakdown?
What if it’s the body’s way of reclaiming its power — from patriarchy, productivity addiction, and inherited expectations?
Maybe you’re not breaking down.
Maybe you’re finally waking up.
🔗
Want more like this?
Explore my work on The Clarity Code®, The Unruled Body, or take the Inherited Response™ Quiz to discover how your nervous system is guiding your decisions. Reinvention starts from the body — not the self-help aisle.
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